Then at the same time, I wonder, "Am I getting dumber?" Or I can already feel myself falling far behind the curve of higher education, research, and politics (though I was always behind on politics). What do I do to "keep up" with the latest theology and psychology buzz? Do I want to keep up? It [higher education] was all so annoying and frustrating before, but back then (about a month ago), I felt like I could actually DO something about it--like I could make a difference! Now, I just feel like an overly educated, overly in debt, jaded, jobless hipster. Using nothing, giving nothing, and knowing everything (more or less). Wanting to fight The Man, but also, at this point, having no one but The Man to turn to (for jobs, security, protection, stuff....).
It's a bit extreme, I know. I feel a little bad for enjoying not being in school and I feel a little bad for being happy about it and letting my brain go numb.
I made this graph.
It's pretty meaningless, but I think more or less ideal for education. The y-axis is "stuff you know" and the x is "time". You learn a little more around puberty, undergrad (presuming you go) and grad school (presuming you go, duration variable). Point is, it's going up all the time. Sure there are times where it may dip, but overall, up. Though, how do you do this in adulthood? Learning is more or less natural as a kid, but after you are forced to be a robot adult in the real world--what do you do to not get dumb or plateau?
I'm just wondering... Cause all I want to do is play. I guess that's how kids learn, maybe I can too.
