Gays Bolster the Tradition of Marriage

I might be a little behind on this... but didn't New York just pass gay marriage?! Woah. I almost missed it considering the cover of the New York Post:



Anyway....

I was perusing the Huffington Post and I found THIS article. Rabbi Shmuley thinks its funny that while gays are pushing the traditional institution of marriage, heteros are afraid of hardcore commitment. Just today one of my buddies said, "Why would I get married? I'm having sex." Obviously, there is more to marriage than sex. More to relationships than sex. More to commitment than sex. And more to love than sex. I found the article pretty compelling and kind of challenging as a straight person. We sure do take our straight relationships for granted.

Sort of on the other side I came across THIS blog entitled "Sex is good, Sex is Great" (pt. 1, 2, 3) (also where I got the photo from). And this guy is advocating for pre-marital sex, bashing some crazy Christians, and is not so interested in marriage. I found the comments very enlightening as well. I think my main concerns/questions for him would be

1. What is marriage? (What's it for? Is it necessary? etc?) Because he seems to be advocating for premarital sex, and not advocating for marriage really at all. And I guess I agree with him, atheists shouldn't feel any pressure to get married or not have sex before they are married. So what's the point of marriage? Should we keep it around?

(Sure, I have my Christiany answer in my head, but I'll spare you)
As far as I can tell it's a public commitment usually under some governing body (government, religion, culture, you name it). Without the governing body defining it somehow, then I guess it's a lifetime partner that you communicate with and figure out whatever marriage is for the two of you (monogamy or not, kids or not, finances, extended family, the list is endless). Then there's the whole kid issue... Cause once you have one of those, life/marriage/relationships/family/sex/commitment gets multiplied in complication (c.f. Babies are not a myth). And chances are you're just going to pass down the poopstorm to your babies.

2. What is sex? This is more a question I have for the Christians he is tirading against. Dude, get some definitions. Because you will come to find Christians with a "no touching policy" all the way to "duh, I have sex" and everything in between in all traditions, full of guilt or guiltless, and all with a rational to irrational argument all using the same sources. Isn't it wonderful? I love living in paradox. (I also found Scarleteen an interesting sex ed reference.)

Any ideas here? Should we all be pulling for institutionalized marriage or de-institutionalized marriage? What does it mean? As far as human history goes, it's pretty recent that we've gained the ability to choose are partners, and in many parts of the world the privilege still doesn't exist. Maybe we need to go back to bartering our sexuality for land and animals, or arranged marriages to keep peace between tribes. Maybe we'll never figure it out. Maybe committed monogomous loving post marital sexual relationships with lots of babies is the best way to go. Or maybe not?

Bleh.

Love

I went to take a walk during work, and was praying about a plateaued kind of feeling. I'm pretty happy with how happy I am. God and I are good. Boifren and I are good. Fam's good. Friend's good. Church, could be better, but still good. I found myself praying for more joy, more love, and trying to figure out what to do next. What more do I do?

This led my thoughts into, "Well, what's the most important thing?" Answer: Love. Well, that's vague. Everyone has a different idea of what love is. I thought about what love is for my evangelical church. It's telling people Jesus loves them (and if they don't accept him, then to hell). It's also doing nice things for people, being there for people, etc. Though I feel as though "the people" they go for are of a certain type, or just whatever God tells them, c.f. "Treasure Hunting". Love for God is quiet time (consisting of prayer and Bible reading) and being excited or super sad during rock out worship.

My evangelical church's view of love is NOT my favorite. I do not like it. I do not want to do it.

Other things that I think come up in church when talking about love are obedience, justice, turning the other cheek, being non-judgmental, care for everything, sacrifice, commitment, forgiving... it might be feeling, or it might not be a feeling. It is an action. It shouldn't yield negative stuff (at least in the grand scheme of things). It's never ending. It holds things together. It's Harry Potter's power against Voldemort. It's a mystery. It's God.

Well, no one person can ever hope to be all those things (not to mention God). It's overwhelming! And sometimes some of those things conflict and fight with each other! It's annoying! "So which is most important?" I wondered. And I think the answer is probably whatever I am best at. And the answer for you, is probably whatever you are best at. Do that. It's love.