Evangelical Protestant Dating is Friends with Benefits

I have several blogs. One about traveling, one about singleness, and one about Christiany stuff. Sometimes they all seem to meld together, and I am not sure what to put where. For example, one of my more popular posts on my "travel" blog is about Hipster Christianity. And in general, I think topics of religion and relationships are much more dramatic and heated and therefore, fun to read compared to "Making Travel Videos." Anyway, all that to say: What is Evangelical Protestant dating?

Personally, I have done little to no official "dating," but I have had some, what I would call, significant relationships. So much so, that even though I wasn't necessarily "in an official relationship" it felt like it, looked like it, functioned like it, I even had to end it like it, and THAT IS Evangelical Protestant dating. (Or maybe I'm just crazy.)

I have had this happen to me, and I have a friend who this is also happening to. You talk all the time. You text all the time. You visit each other. You go out on dates and fight about who is going to pay. You meet each other's family. You know each other. But, as my friend explained, you are not crossing and physical boundaries. Meaning, pretty much no kissing and beyond. You might sit close to one another, hold hands while praying, bat eyes at one another, drink together, cry together and hold one another.... But God forbid you use the "D" "G" or "B" words (Dating, girlfriend, or boyfriend), cause that means you have to want to get married and make babies.

Evangelical Protestant dating is friends with benefits.

can't take it anymore

Evangelical bliss... There is too much to say to be honest. I am racking my brain for priority, and struggling. There's issues of inerrancy and use of the Bible. Arbitrary assignment of accountability buddies. Small group "foundational" lessons: yesterday we covered prayer, devotionals, reading the Bible and accountability all in about an hour... And luckily I missed the previous meeting that covered Salvation. Agh! I almost had a panic attack just thinking about it.

Now, while I have a tendency to be quite cynical and almost mean here, I really do enjoy all these people. If they drove me that crazy, then I wouldn't stay with them. The venting happens here because I have no place to vent. Or maybe I am fearful to vent to all the people involved--I don't want to be a jerk, and there is a fine line between "you guys are so great" and "what the hell are you preaching?" As I have said before, paradox is an unconscious way of life for most Christians, and in particular: the evangelical. Give yourself a challenge already: conscious paradox.

Anyway, I wish I had the handout that was given to me yesterday. The part about the Bible was particularly painful. I really do struggle with all of this. Should I stay or should I go? And if I stay, why? Will I just continue going and complaining and wondering, or am I really going to try and make a difference, or get kicked out trying? Yeah, I need to stop being a wimp, but be a gentle force.

I will spare anymore complaining since I do not have the evidence from yesterday near me. In the meantime, enjoy this video on how to worship.

Evangelical Overdose: Facilitation of God

I had this brilliant plan yesterday. The plan: skip small group. No big deal, I had a valid excuse: friend's going away party. Granted, I am not all that close with this friend, but I love an excuse to hang out and eat good food. I would be forgiven, and get a little break from... church folk. Not that I am being driven crazy or anything, but I did go to church four times last week (one Catholic mass). So I was going to skip faith group, and this Sunday go to African church instead of my usual evangelical venture--one whole week of traditional evangelical freedom!

But alas, the going away party was last night... so no more excuse. I will be hunted down and dragged to small group against my will... Maybe I am being a bit dramatic... I like hanging out with the evangelicals, but if I don't have a valid excuse, I better be there. I could always claim homework, but that is not truthfully valid right now... Anyway, what was a dilemma (party or small group), has been decided for me. I will suck it up and say "Hello" to hand-raising, prophesying, sinful nature, Paul-loving, Bible-thumping, geli goodness. (I just shortened "evangelical" to "geli.")

There has been a lot to talk [complain] about with church most recently. It is weird though, how you just keep coming back. I remember last year when I was an invisible member showing up maybe every other week: one week with the gelis and the next with the piscos (episcopals). I'll probably show up for pisco liturgy during the winter for the free meal, plus, they have the best homilies in my opinion, makes me feel better about Christianity... The preaching with gelis makes me feel pressure or guilt (to "evangelize" be "crazy for Jesus" be "perfect" be "saved" and agree with everything the Bible says in the way they interpret it) and causes facial contortion about 75% of the time (the other 25% is usually agreeable or thought-provoking).

So, along with my issues of gender and God, I have another thing to add to the list that regularly makes me wince: the "on" and "off" God, or the power of the Holy Spirit on some sort of volume control.

Before I even came into Catholic grad school, actually, I do not know if I ever thought of God as closer or further away. God just always was... is... etc... But with the geli's there are always phrases like, "The Holy Spirit is coming tonight!" or "God was really moving last night." or "Did God whow up for you?" or "God's power is here!" I even heard one of the pastors say the other week that small groups were "to facilitate God." Wha?! There is some level of agreeability and disagreeability with these statements, but as I have said before, I do not like how they are thrown around with out much thought.

Like, was God's power not that great before we had the intense rock out worship session? What exactly does it take to facilitate God? Where was God before? Was the power not there or availible before said moment of intense spiritual experience? Is it necessary to have extremely "high" spiritual moments. I notice people with the really high moments also have extremely low moments. I am one to stay in the middle typically (with anything really). I like to know God as spread completely and evenly over my life in every moment. God is no further or closer now than when I am in church or at uber worship night. I will admit that when I am up or down the intensity or awareness of my spirituality in myself or others can change, but God does not, and I am ok with this.

In other news: I am president. I found out I may be completely finished with the theology side of my degree (save for thesis), sad, but good, and counseling school is boring as hell, but I see very hopeful prospects for my future.

Power of the Tongue: God and Gender

Grad school in theology has made me a raging feminist! Well, not really, but based on what I am about to say, many may come to believe that this is the case. Something that I have noticed in my church back home and the church I currently attend versus Catholic and Episcopal church is how to address God, in particular: pronouns. Then again, it often depends on the person and where and what theology they have been trained in...

Anyway, I got to thinking about this last night at my church small group because one of the guys speaking was emphasizing (through Scripture: James and Proverbs) the power and importance of the tongue. I saw it as a doorway to bettering some traditional evangelical language and misunderstanding...

Within pretty much all of Christendom, the example has been to refer to God as Father and consequently "He," "Him," and "Himself." I do not know anyone who grew up being taught to refer to God as simply "God" and "Godself" or to interchange "Him" and "Her" in reference to God. That is crazy talk! But from my very first grad school theology class we were taught to use gender inclusive language in our writing and speaking of God. So now I am hyperaware of every male reference to God in song, prayer, and sermon, and when there are no female examples given in any list of influential Christians. So often male preachers list males who have made a difference in the church or wrote this or that or taught this or that. Sure, it is a predominately male field--but it is not a predominately male spirituality or religion. And God is not a predominately a male God...

That aside, in the past, and in class I fully understood that God does not have a gender (Jesus does, however, so it is ok to refer to him with "him"). So then the question is, "Why do we constantly refer to God as "He" then?" I can think of some answers, and the two big ones are that that is the example that has been given in our churches and that is the way it appears in the Bible. BUT WE KNOW THAT GOD DOES NOT HAVE A GENDER. If any gender, God is both male AND female as Genesis 1 says...

But it gets more confusing: the "Spirit" or the "Wisdom of God" in the Old Testament is definitely a "She." Why is she a "She"? Well, the gender of the word in the original language was female, so the pronoun is female. It is all semantics, language, metaphor, and it MATTERS!

The way God is approached and understood can radically change based on the language and the metaphor we use for God, and in Christianity the least incorrect metaphor for God is Love.

It may seem awkward constantly referring to God as "God" and "Godself," but people will notice, and you will notice how often God is referred to as "He" "Him" and "Himself" in worship, prayer, and sermons. And it will even bother you a little bit because you know that God as "He" really is kind of ridiculous and very limiting to God... especially since most words used to describe God are stereotypically feminine.

So my church back home and the church I go to now constantly refer to God as male, and there often is a lot of confusion over women's role in the church and the family (thanks to Paul or someone claiming to be Paul). While Episcopal and Catholic church do not. The difference I think is in the level of education and when and where the pastor or priest studied. So please, give up the pronouns, or switch often between he and she, because you know that God is too big to be contained that way and others will notice your balanced approach to who and how we understand God to be. This tiny little change of thought and word about God may even expand our understanding of women in the church, value women more, and listen to women more seriously throughout history and presently. Especially since, as a woman, it is pointless for me to be studying theology...

If we really believe that God does not have gender then we better speak like it. The tongue is powerful.

God is neither male nor female, and in God there is no male or female, but we are also made in God's image: male and female...

Something I found The Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Eww to pure complementarity and pure equality. Grrr upset... I could go on and on about this subject... The gender issue can be argued from all sides with Scripture, tradition, and history, how do you know who/what is right?