can't take it anymore

Evangelical bliss... There is too much to say to be honest. I am racking my brain for priority, and struggling. There's issues of inerrancy and use of the Bible. Arbitrary assignment of accountability buddies. Small group "foundational" lessons: yesterday we covered prayer, devotionals, reading the Bible and accountability all in about an hour... And luckily I missed the previous meeting that covered Salvation. Agh! I almost had a panic attack just thinking about it.

Now, while I have a tendency to be quite cynical and almost mean here, I really do enjoy all these people. If they drove me that crazy, then I wouldn't stay with them. The venting happens here because I have no place to vent. Or maybe I am fearful to vent to all the people involved--I don't want to be a jerk, and there is a fine line between "you guys are so great" and "what the hell are you preaching?" As I have said before, paradox is an unconscious way of life for most Christians, and in particular: the evangelical. Give yourself a challenge already: conscious paradox.

Anyway, I wish I had the handout that was given to me yesterday. The part about the Bible was particularly painful. I really do struggle with all of this. Should I stay or should I go? And if I stay, why? Will I just continue going and complaining and wondering, or am I really going to try and make a difference, or get kicked out trying? Yeah, I need to stop being a wimp, but be a gentle force.

I will spare anymore complaining since I do not have the evidence from yesterday near me. In the meantime, enjoy this video on how to worship.