Two Types of Highly Educated Protestants

As much as I hate dualism, there really are only two types of educated protestants (maybe a hybrid third type). And when I say educated, what I mean is exposed and trained in high caliber theology (though, sometimes any subject, theology just emphasizes the dichotomy). That's right--these protestants wanted a saving challenge and went to the challenging schools where they found out that everyone is wrong, and everyone is right.

The first type of good theologically educated protestant is the wholly devoted one. Devout in all senses of the word. You don't care what anyone says, you know what you know, and you love what you love, and you will dedicate your time to that. Go against the grain and argue divine satisfaction for salvation--you are a Luther and Calvin lover, and there ain't nothin wrong with that. Go to your happy clappy church with no shame. Yeah, you know a lot, you know both sides, but you are DEVOTED! And your church needs you to keep their non-traditional traditions going. This protestant has got some extreme combo of commitment and brainwashing happening--but that's ok! You gotta love the zeal.

The second, more common type, is the jaded type. You may have started off as type one, but quickly you realized... God is complicated. Religion is complicated. And everything you learned about the Bible--may not be true! It is heartbreaking... You were in love with a lie, as abusive as that Eminem Rihanna song (Love the way you lie)--yeah THAT jaded. Can anything be redeemed! I don't even know what redemption means anymore!! Regardless, I'll find my place in some church where I agree with less than half of their doctrine/mission/whatever, and even if I don't, at least I know that we'll probably all be ok in the end... Cause God is love. Woopdidoo.

A third, hybrid type, may exist. The highly educated person who is jaded, but holding on to some sort of devotion (see all educated Catholics). This educated protestant is holding out for hope.

...but whatever.

Hitchens vs. Sewell

I came across "The Hitchens Transcript" on facebook. The conversation is basically between a moderately famous atheist and a Unitarian minister. I found the conversation disturbing, and I don't really know if I like either of them. Though, I think I could be friends with the minister easier than Hitchens...

Hitchens: has some good arguments that I have discussed friends. Such as, if Christians aren't at least a little fundamentalist in their beliefs (like with, you know, simple stuff like Jesus' birth, death, and resurrection), then what is the point? Might as well be a humanitarian. I sort of agree, sort of disagree. Mostly, because I do see something different in the Christian narrative (or maybe I just want to see it that way?). Regardless, I might put him in a category of politics/economics/science, essentially being his "religion"... Which sometimes seems no different to me than religion, except less forgiving, less exceptions, and more pessimistic (for the most part).

Sewell: A little out there for me. Seemed like her and Hitchens had nothing to fight about, and were essentially the same (which was the annoying thing about the article). But she was less negative/harsh than he was about the whole Christian thing.

I don't really know what to make of it. I'm still trying to figure out the difference between an active, social justicey, non-evangelical, pacifist Christianity and humanitarianism. Is it just motivation and beliefs?

I am a Protestant

I'm a loud and proud conservative evangelical Christian. Born and raised in the Midwest United States by good Fox News watching parents! That's right. Beware: I might burn the Qu'ran, blow up a Planned Parenthood, vote for Bush, condemn the gays, or kick a ginger AT ANY MOMENT!

That's why its no surprise when, in class the other night, upon declaring my protestantism, my Catholic professor pulled out his lighter.... As if to say, "Burn the traitor!!"

Its not like he's an ex-Jesuit married to a Lutheran. Oh wait--he is!

Christianity presented in all its disturbing fullness

A friend of mine posted this article from the Huffington Post on Glenn Beck and Liberation theology. One of the many reasons to love and hate Catholicism--right here in this article... but mostly love in my opinion. The only inconsistency I see is Mr. Jesuit is writing it, and while individually he may be a poor priest--what attracts me to the Jesuits (if I was a man) is the education and the wealth. Ha! Pretty horrible, I know, but I think I would make an AWESOME Jesuit priest.

Other than that, I love Liberation Theology. I took a class from Gustavo Gutierrez (kinda the guy who coined the phrase in the 50's and 60's), and he is a saint. Rarely do we actually get to meet the people who make all these Christian ideas up, but Gustavo is legit. If he wasn't legit, I would have seriously reconsidered the theology.

Similarly, I love Miroslav Volf's forgiveness book Free of Charge, but I found out the dude pretty much had an affair with a student, and his rep went way down in my book.

People who embody their passion change the world. Gustavo has already done it. Look out world.

Evangelical Protestant Dating is Friends with Benefits

I have several blogs. One about traveling, one about singleness, and one about Christiany stuff. Sometimes they all seem to meld together, and I am not sure what to put where. For example, one of my more popular posts on my "travel" blog is about Hipster Christianity. And in general, I think topics of religion and relationships are much more dramatic and heated and therefore, fun to read compared to "Making Travel Videos." Anyway, all that to say: What is Evangelical Protestant dating?

Personally, I have done little to no official "dating," but I have had some, what I would call, significant relationships. So much so, that even though I wasn't necessarily "in an official relationship" it felt like it, looked like it, functioned like it, I even had to end it like it, and THAT IS Evangelical Protestant dating. (Or maybe I'm just crazy.)

I have had this happen to me, and I have a friend who this is also happening to. You talk all the time. You text all the time. You visit each other. You go out on dates and fight about who is going to pay. You meet each other's family. You know each other. But, as my friend explained, you are not crossing and physical boundaries. Meaning, pretty much no kissing and beyond. You might sit close to one another, hold hands while praying, bat eyes at one another, drink together, cry together and hold one another.... But God forbid you use the "D" "G" or "B" words (Dating, girlfriend, or boyfriend), cause that means you have to want to get married and make babies.

Evangelical Protestant dating is friends with benefits.

Sin = Wasting Time

This week for me was almost like real life. I was working 9-5, and it was real boring. At work I read some books, I facebooked, I didn't blog, I read internet news, and I fixed some computers. Then I would get home, starving, eat something my roommates made, watch reality tv or my roommates kill stuff on the xbox, go to bed, and do it again in the morning. Weekend: more of the above, plus packing, cleaning, bday partying, good times.

So, a week of my life just went by, and I think I will remember it, mostly because it was my bday week, and because it was so weird! Sometimes when I am doing nothing, making my brain go numb (via food, drink, tv, internet), it seems so necessary and so good and so perfect and so communal, and then other times it just seems like pure selfishness, i.e. sin. Funny how that works right? Too much of a good thing (is a bad thing)? Or not enough of a good thing (is a bad thing)?

I find reading (for me) seems to be the least guilt producing mind-numbing activity. This is probably because I associate reading with productivity, even if I am reading Harry Potter for the hundredth time. But I imagine people can use it just as bad as tv or video games... Next to reading, getting outside, exercising, visiting a museum, and the like is not so guilt inducing. But if I am using it to avoid something else, or to fill in frequent bored gaps, it doesn't always work so well.

Probably most guilt inducing activities (for me) are excessive use of the internet (which is basically all I do at work) and tv. Some days, or weeks, are worse than others. Summer time is particularly notorious for such epic time wasting! At first, it feels deserved, then suddenly, I wish I had my routine filled with 100 things to do back, and then soon after that, I feel I need that break again... Its a vicious cycle. After this week though, I think I prefer the vicious cycle of academia compared to the numbness of work life. Though I think both serve similar purposes, to live life and often, avoid feeling. Two sides of the same coin, while one feels more productive than the other, I am beginning to think it really isn't.

Then again, I am not exactly sure how one might gauge too much bored with too much fulfillment. I know some people with very specific fun time, and usually feel guilty for it, like they could be producing more. These are the smartest people I know, they make a lot of money, and get the best grades. And I know some people who put everything off until the very last second and spend as much time as they can doing nothing. This is most people. Then, those with a good balance (and you would never find in the tabloids because they have nothing to hide), are the people who save the world... That would be me. bah!

Now I am wondering, "What is not wasting time?" I'm not sure... uh oh, that's not good. Well, I guess it would be spending time celebrating, lamenting, and working with people you love, doing a job you love, or doing something non-job related that you love. Now, is doing something that you don't love (like sitting at my job right now), to pay for a life that you think you love (going to school, living in a nice house, driving a car), worth it? Or is it wasting time? Or how about doing something you don't love to get something you think you will love? I guess that is the way a lot of people function, they work to keep and care for their families, who they love. That is kind of the way all academics work--delayed gratification. But I find the people who absolutely LOVE school through and through are the most successful in getting what they want, cause they had it all along the way.

Honestly, most of my time is not spent doing anything I absolutely LOVE. Sometimes I LOVE class, and I LOVE homework. But most of the time, meh. I do not love my job. I do not know if I will love my counseling internship with the children cause I have never done anything like that. I don't even know if I love counseling cause I have never really done it (in a formal sense).

Is too much of doing what you love a bad thing? I want to say no, but I don't really know anyone personally who all they do is what they love.

Next year, I hope I find something to do that I love most, if not all, of the time. Until then, I consider this school year already gone, but definitely memorable.

World Vision fires people based on their doctrine of the Incarnation and the Trinity

Here is the article in the Huffington Post. I actually sponsor a child in World Vision (even though I know there is something mildly shady about this operation, i.e. money doesn't go to directly to child, and they are an uber conservative Christian organization with sketchy evangelization), and the very morning I discovered this article, I was thinking, "Hmm.... I want to give to Greg Mortenson's organization (Three Cups of Tea guy), but I don't want to take away from my sponsored child... Wait, I'll have more money next year. I could give to both!" Now, with this enlightening article, I thought, maybe I should just give all my charity money to ikat.org.

Am I being just as discriminatory choosing to not give my money to an organization that is discriminatory? I am discriminatory against discriminators. Regardless of the article, I have been thinking about pulling out of World Vision since I began giving to them, and even when I got a nice letter supposedly from someone in Ethiopia, I just wasn't sure. It has been a nice experience/practice, giving what little I can via 35 bucks being taken out of my BofA account each month. It really is the least I can do as a lazy grad student.

Anyway, I am thinking World Vision is not my cup of tea, and beginning next month I'll start building a girl's school in rural Pakistan. Anyone out there gung ho for World Vision?

Gotta love Bob

I rant occasionally about sexuality and gender on here, and so does he. Here is Robert Cargill's latest on Proposition 8. And if you really want to get some pro-homo-education (cause I know ya do) go read some Larry Kent Graham, and watch the documentary Anyone and Everyone.

Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World

I was just introduced to this website via an article about Glee. At first I was like, "omg this is real!" and then I read some more and I wasn't so sure... and then I read comments and I was less sure. Anyway, I do think that it is satire, and in any event, the articles on the website are likely to make you cry and laugh equally....

Be Entertained!

It is funny because it is true....



KILLER PRAYER TIPS!


COMMUNITY!

Interpretation de Confounded Christian

The other day I was doing a little bit of that Bible reading and such, and I chose to read the Gospel of John. I chose this because I am in a class on liberation theology, and I tend to enjoy the hippie version of the Jesus story, i.e. John. I read the first few chapters, and it has kind of been a while since I have read the Bible for personal revelation (instead of for class, or church, etc.). There was personal revelation, but at the same time, even in the loosely written John, I found myself going verse by verse, "I agree with that... I don't agree with that... I think there was a contradiction there... or wtf." So I wondered, what would happen if I took the Bible and made a list of what I agree with, and what I do not agree with. I wondered what the ratio would be... Just taking the Word and my experience, and seeing what makes sense to me, and what doesn't.

Yesterday, I was talking with my friend, and we decided that we would be happy even if just a fraction of a percent of what we think about God was true, we would be happy. For example, if a fraction of what I believe love to be, God also is, there will be joy to be had over this.

Usurping Man's Authority

I don't know if you know this, but I am kind of a big deal. Yeah, I got cred. When I finish my program, I essentially have the potential to be a full time minister, and I got more cred than most probably have. I told my sister, "I am highly flauntable."

However, where I come from, there is no point in a woman studying God. You can't really talk about it, you can't preach it, you can't teach it... oh wait, yeah you can--but only to other women, your husband, and very small [unbaptized] children. Things are changing a little bit now, there are some churches desperate to incorporate women, and it is nearly impossible to find a woman from the same tradition that is seeking to be a minister (cause we're not allowed!).

This is why I am highly flauntable. I am a woman with an awesome education and a desire to serve in a time where women are being sought out specifically. See you on the ministry frontier.

Imago Dei

I just finished a book called Discovering Images of God, and it has led to the question who or exactly what is the image of God? Is it the perfect body? or every body? Genesis, "In the image of God, he created them, male and female, he created them." Ok so, male and female = created in the image of God. We all agree, right? Adam and Eve, perfect bodies, created in the image of God. But what about deformed bodies? or bodies with serious mental and biological issues. Are those also the image of God?

It seems to me that people (obviously) do not see all people as equal, created in the image of God, and Christians are no exception to this. If deformity and disease and "deviance" are less than the image of God, how can that possibly be overcome? It doesn't seem fair, and how you understand biology and bodies relating to God, informs more than you might realize.

A Social Network Experiment

For the past couple days I have been enduring a drama happening with one of my "friends" on facebook. Updates look something like this:

"Is at a loss for words. Atleast I have him for now.....and hopefully after....."
"Is used up. Abused. And left to wonder why."

....Hmmm, and apparently FB is failing right now. This person's page may have disappeared just in time. Regardless, updates have indicated an affair and possible divorce. TMI (for facebook). Take it to couple's counseling please.

Anyway, with all this drama, I thought, "What kind of stories could I make up in one (or 5) sentence(s) per day?" Imagine the possibilities! You could probably entertain yourself, and others for quite a while with crazy status updates. You could even plan it out from beginning to ending, or just steal a story from history... like that book Historical Tweets.

Or you could just take the actual drama from your own life that you keep private from your friends. After all, real life? You can't write that.

I know, I talk too much about sex

As far as I know, the Catholic church has a firm stance on sex: it is only for procreation. That means no contraception and no homosexuality. Ok. But I rarely have heard protestant views on this. It is kind of a taboo topic, and when it does come up, there is little stance. I have heard in church people talk about how sex is a great thing, and I also no all kinds of protestant (and Catholic) people who "wait" to have children. So unless they are having no sex, they are not having sex for procreation. Soooo, what is sex for besides procreation? (I can think of some things, but will refrain my opinion.) And if a Christian is going to argue that it is ok to have sex for reasons other than to have children, couldn't you also argue for fornication and gay sex? Just sayin... We're not very consistent.

Camping is to Evangelicals, as Booze is to Catholics.

So I am talking with my housemate about how I am thinking of asking this guy out, and how I will approach this, and I realize, "Oh, there is this camping trip coming up. And if ever there was a time for evangelical Christians to hook up, it is on camping trips." He replies, "You know what that is for Catholics?"

"No. What?"

"Booze."

'Tis true, 'tis true.

Christians hate themselves

The other day I brought my friend (a recent M.Div. from Yale) to my church. After a less violent sermon than usual from Pastor J, I asked her what she thought. She goes, "Everyone at your church hates themselves!" Indeed, they do. My church is chalk full of people crying and holding each other and praying for each other and guilt building and who knows what else in EVERY SINGLE service. Heck, this sort of drama is potential in almost every time the church folk get together. Don't get me wrong, I do love all the emotion, but I hadn't thought of it as hating ourselves. My friend made perfect sense, and it seemed messed up how that really is the case.

Humility is good and all, but I don't think Jesus came so that we would constantly beat ourselves up over how we are lowly, unworthy, worthless, sinful, impossible, frustrating, annoying, evil, selfish, wormlike, mischievous, messed up, failing, horrible, unlovable, horrid, time-consuming, arrogant, ignorant, prideful, fearful, lazy, busy, irreverent, blaspheming, hypocrite, piles of doodoo! Yeah, no.

I am way too good at listing those things. Look what church can do for YOU!

CHRISTIANS HATE HOMOSEXUALITY!

I do not know where to begin. Everytime I go out to hang out with church folk, I return home with an endless amount of theological/religious complaints... This time I learned something: stop talking and just ask more questions. There is a reason the Socratic method is still used.

One of my friends is a very nice and very devoted Christian. She is wonderful to be around and very zealous, the type of person who keeps you on your toes. She and I were talking about a mutual friend who is gay, and his soul purpose is reconciling homosexuality with the Catholic church (good luck). And the bottom line of our conversation was homosexuality is wrong. I neither asserted nor rebuked this because whether it is "a sin" or not, you don't start a conversation with someone telling them they are wrong, also, I wasn't going to start an argument with someone who might believe in a mostly literal Bible. The conversation ended up going in a direction that bothered my friend, how is it that Christians believe all different things, but are still Christian? This is something I love, and this was troubling for her, and I could tell she had no idea how to make sense of it. Everyone has the Bible, everyone has history... How can one read it this way, and another read it another way, AND BOTH MAKE SENSE? It is a beautiful mystery.

So, it was good that this was something that baffled her. Our mutual friend is a Christian, loves Jesus, studies theology, is incredibly nice to everyone, practices what he preaches, and is gay. How can this be? she wondered. How can this be?

The path is narrow. Really hardly anyone is going to get to heaven. There are so few who know the truth. You may think you are okay, but really you are not. Those people think they are Christians, but they're not---You are going to hell. I don't think so... or maybe you are already living in hell? I hope not.

What did I learn from all this? Ask questions. When my friend began condemning the gays, I should have asked why it is important to her that that is the Truth. Why is that wrong, but woman speaking in church is not wrong? How is it relevant to her and other salvation? What is salvation... O Lord, not soteriology again.

"When did meeting people become something that we pay for?"

"When we become alienated and displaced by leaving our local communities."

A recent chat I had with a friend. We are both currently trying to figure out how to become "unsingle." And by saying "unsingle" i am emphasizing "single" therefore bringing singleness instead of that oh-so-desired companionship into my life.

I think I'll just get a beta...

SINNERS IN THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY GOD

Today in church the "great theologian" John Edwards was quoted. But before he was quoted, Pastor J (least favorite pastor, and in my opinion most violent pastor) assured us that the message for today was not about condemnation, and talked about how unfortunate it is that "fire and brimstone" messages get such a bad rep. The caution only served to prove that what Pastor J said the message was NOT, was exactly that.

Here is the picture I got: the hand of God dangling the measly human over a fiery pit whilst they are tempted by the devil. If the human succumbs to temptation: dropped to painful eternal DEATH! But do not worry! There is good news: Jesus saves us.

It brings up a lot of questions for me about the nature and existence of evil. I mean, who exactly is in charge of evil? Is it God, people, this Satan character, someone/something else? And why? WTF.

It is all very confusing... is it not?

"Sunday's Coming"

Watch this video. Be entertained. :)

Sigh.

I don’t write poetry.

I’m full, but still hungry.

Relaxed, but really worried.

Racing. Relax. Racing. Relax.

Close my eyes, but they’re still moving.

Want to sleep, but I feel like I shouldn’t.

Traveling. What? Am I crazy?

Na. Life is good.

I want peace. Have I ever had it?

I thought I did.

Paz. Dona nobis pacem.

Por favor.

Answers? No. but I want’em.

I just go.

I.

By myself.

No.

This is my dilemma.

Always alone and never alone.

I just pray to feel the wind.

To feel the ground.

To feel my breath, the blood flowing through.

To see the other.

To love. To be with love forever.

To be with love.

To be.

Ok.

worrying about my day and the rest of my life everyday

lately i have felt the burden of all the work that i have to do to finish the semester as well as the burden of figuring out the rest of my life pretty much everyday. I mention this to my fellow grad students, and yeah, they feel the same way. it actually makes everyone feel pretty crappy. last night i attempted to push the immediacy of figuring out my life out of my mind... i really have no time to do this, and of all times to be worried about this, THIS is the worst time.

nevertheless, i pretty much feel like a failure everyday cause i don't have it figured out or finished. i wondered, "Right now, is there anything that could make me feel not like a failure?" Nope. except maybe a time machine to go back and finish my papers.

the next few weeks are going to be filled with very highs and very lows. this is what happens when you plan two trips on the two weekends before finals. Do I wish I hadn't planned these trips? Nope. I am excited for them, but I just want to be done!!!!!!!!!

I fear that all my work at the end of the semester is going to be my worst work. ...worst work still probably above average... but agh! the rest of my life could be dependent on this?! or not.

I'm calling my mom.