Not My Will, but Your Will be Done

Last night in church small group, we had this discussion on faith and prayer. I think that the leaders were trying to keep the conversation relatively specific and simple, but of course, it ended up being more complex and general. I look back and wish I just would have asked, "Well, why does prayer matter at all!!??" Which I thought, but knew it would just veer us off in some other direction, and the evangelicals would start making the usual blanket paradoxical statements that make me crazy and peaceful at the same time...

So specifically, A, the leader of our group was simply looking to encourage us to pray for things without a doubt, in complete trust and faith, knowing that it makes a difference for ourselves and for others. But starting with a question like, "What does praying in faith mean for you?" was not going to get to A's goal very quickly... because prayer is much more than asking for stuff... So the real question that A was trying to get at was, "When you ask for stuff in your prayer from God, how much do you believe that it is going to happen?" So then we went into conversation about healing, and asking for it, and belief, and how the hell does it work, and why does it not work when it does not work... And so we began a conversation on what we mean when we pray, "Not my will, but your will," or "..if it is your will" etc. etc. etc.

So we pray and pray and pray for something, and then tack on, "Well, if it is your will..." Why did we bother asking if we are just going to then turn around and tell God, "Well God, even though I am petitioning you for this you are just going to do whatever you do, and that is probably going to be best, even though I probably won't understand it."

Does anyone see the so very obvious paradox here? Anyone?

The evangelicals are frantically flipping through their New Testaments and racking their brains for stories and sayings of faith and healing and letting God's will be done... Sidebar: another annoying thing is when someone asks a question, and then someone flips to one verse or one story, and then goes, "Ooh well, that makes sense, I guess that is the answer." I saw a lot of this happening last night, and as people's eyes are glued to the Word of God, no one thinks to throw out places in the Bible where it does not make sense, because obviously, it makes sense.

Then we turn to the ultimate example--Jesus in the Garden. We did not go to deep into this, but had we, oh my my... my brain is spinning with the potential here for HUGE Biblical problems that are very much glazed over or rationalized non-Biblically with evangelicals.

Why does Jesus pray, "If it be your will let this cup pass from me..."?

Isn't Jesus God? Is Jesus praying to himself? It can get a bit confusing. Regardless, what was Jesus' will in this situation? Was Jesus' will different from God's will? Can God's will be different from God's will? Can God have two paradoxical wills? Was Jesus just putting some grand act on as an example to Christians, meanwhile he could have just sat rock had a picnic with the Father, checked his watch and said, "Eh, let's get this show on the road, I have people in hell to save."

I do not know the answers to these questions, but I did throw out an alternative to the prayer, e.g. "If it be your will..." in small group. As usual, I look around the group and I see people who nod in agreement, who look like, "Gee, I never thought of that before," and who react too quickly revealing their opposing position.

All I said was that instead of praying "If it be your will" to instead pray that "my will" and "God's will" are the same. I mean, if we are going to accept the will of God regardless of what we pray, why not pray that our wills be united? So no matter what happens, I am at peace with God. I mean, that is kind of essentially what you are doing anyway, but with a more positive and open spin. I was happy to most everyone agreed with me or at least found the concept intriguing even if they didn't realize the full implications. M, however, jumped on the opportunity to emphasize that our will is not God's will, and cannot be God's will, because we are not God. The last part, yes, but just because of that doesn't mean the former isn't possible or worth praying for. He did not seem to like my twist on the prayer; I could see the wheels turning in his evangelical seminarian head. Luckily, A was totally on my side, which was nice since he pretty much rules the group.

This is all pretty random, and only covers one little tiny aspect of prayer, so forgive me for not going into great depth on the oh-so simple concept of prayer (not so simple). It was just what I was thinking about last night... along with the male references to God, evangelism, the on and off Spirit... etc. One thing at a time. Further comments?