Answers are Overrated

Besides this, it is upsetting that my books for this semester are going to cost more than my rent for the month. I got away with not buying the books in the last psych class I had, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off with 5 classes...

Yesterday at [evangelical] church I was being introduced to all the pastors and one of the pastors recognized me because earlier in the summer I had sent a desperate e-mail asking to sit down with some evangelical ecclesial folk and discuss questions... In particular, questions on salvation. At the time I was in a bit of a crisis. I couldn't remember what it was like to be such a super assured Christian. The type of Christian where you said all these Christiany things and everyone around you just knew what you were talking about. Simple things like, "Praise the Lord!" or "God takes care of us" or "the Spirit was strong and moving" or I'm saved" or "they don't know Jesus" and using words like salvation, heaven, hell, kingdom, the Spirit, and everyone just knew. I couldn't remember what that was like, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to using that language without constantly checking myself in my head as to what exactly do I mean by that...

So I wanted to talk to a pastor or a preacher or a teacher in the church (any church, but especially the ones I had been most involved in). The pastor recognized me and asked if I had got my questions answered, and I am sure that the look on my face said, "No, not really..." The guy I was suppose to meet up with was having a baby, and it was the end of the semester for me, and we never found a time... but it is okay! I am at peace with the lack of definitive answer! Well, more or less.

Soon after he left the conversation I thought to myself, "Answers are overrated." All answers seem to do is produce more questions... which produces multiple answers... which produces multiple questions. Even more annoyingly is that you can bet the questions and answers you are making, especially in Christendom, have already been asked and answered by someone somewhere and written down! We just haven't read it because we are glued to our Bibles, pop Christian literature, and Christian music. Wait! Question! Where did the Bible come from anyway...?

What ends up happening is that you get to a semi-root question like, "Why?" or "What is the point?" or "What is the most true, and matters the most?" I don't know, but I imagine regardless of religious affiliation, most people will answer similarly (unless they are a sociopath or something).

I imagine that what the answer is going to involve is family, friends, justice, care, compassion, peace, love, community, etc etc etc. These are things that the healthy human being can agree on. (Ah... but then you wonder, "What are these things?" "How are they manifested?")

So my questions were not exactly answered, and figuring out "the answers" is a lifelong journey. It is best to just accept where you are and be prepared for continuous and drastic change.